Bernickow's memoir shares journey of survival

Laughter and tears filled the second floor of the Artscape Theatre on Thursday, November 6, as Cynthia Bernickow launched her first book - a memoir called A Dream Never Broken.

The book recounts Ms Bernickow’s long struggle with mental illness, including 21 shock treatments for severe depression, and her determination to overcome stigma and share her story.

During the launch, author and former journalist Zubeida Jaffer questioned Ms Bernickow, reflecting on truth-telling, mental health stigma, and recovery.

Ms Jaffer said she was “blown away” by the way the book had been written and edited by Lorna Daniels, describing it as a powerful and honest account of personal endurance.

“I was deeply touched by the trials Cynthia had to face, mostly on her own,” said Ms Jaffer.

Ms Bernickow became emotional at several points while recalling the events described in the book, many of which took a toll on both her physical and emotional health.

She said that the idea for the memoir began about ten years ago while she was in India. Ms Daniels had handed her a notebook and encouraged her to “just write”.

Over the years, she returned to the manuscript several times before completing it.

Ms Bernickow said that revisiting her experiences made her feel “vulnerable and uncomfortable,” but she believed it was important to tell her story.

 The book, which took 18 years to complete, is based on factual memories of her life and treatment.

“The hardest part was having to sit and think of all the breakdowns and how I was once like a zombie after using too much medication,” she said. “I didn’t know I would ever finish this book or even have a launch, but it is all part of the purpose,” she said.

Ms Bernickow, who began working in factories and restaurants at the age of 13, said her family has been her greatest source of strength. She is one of eight siblings; she includes them all in the book. 

Her daughter Melanie Johann and granddaughter Stephanie Denton were present at the launch, with Ms Denton reading excerpts that moved many in the audience to tears.

Carol Bosch of Cape Mental Health commended Ms Bernickow for her openness in writing about her mental health journey. 

“Writing about one’s personal battles with mental health is not an easy task. You are brave, because despite the many challenges and strong winds and slippery slopes, you are here,” she said.

Ms Bosch said the book would encourage the estimated 16.5% of South Africans living with mental health conditions.

 “Thank you, Cynthia, for never giving up despite the odds being stacked against you. I am certain that your story will inspire those who are on a difficult path and feel that there is no way out,” said Ms Bosch.

Born and raised in Cape Town, Ms Bernickow experienced her first major breakdown at 18 and was hospitalised at Valkenberg, where she would return several times and undergo 21 shock treatments. 

“God raised me from deep waters. He lifted me from the worst depression, which landed me in Valkenberg and Lentegeur hospitals, year after year, where I moved like a zombie and underwent 21 shock treatments,” she writes in the memoir.

Now 78, Ms Bernickow said completing the book has brought her a sense of peace and purpose.

A  Dream Never Broken is available now. To purchase a copy, contact Lorna Daniels on 076 751 9457.